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IC - Enigma Sector News Net (RSS Item)

To serve Man?

This is Brad Lockjaw, with an ESNN special bulletin.

ESC CoordSec officers were called to a horrific scene today in the Basement Levels of New Zurich. A female security officer working for the Guinterin Combine was mauled and eaten alive by Kilrathi while providing executive protection at an eating establishment popularly known as "Chez Hannibal's," after its North African head chef.

(A picture of a smiling, highly attractive redhead with sparkling hazel eyes and perfect breasts, suited up in tight, form-fitting conformal body armor, lingers on screen for far longer than strictly necessary.)

Witnesses described the attack as "beastly" and "too awful for words." Our reporters on the scene were unable to gather more detailed accounts than that, and CoordSec had sealed off the premises, preventing us from getting a closer look for you, our loyal viewers.

Authorities later determined the restaurant to be an unauthorized eating establishment, connected with the popular "Ka nar Zaga" chain of "train like a Kilrathi" fitness gyms. CoordSec is currently seeking information about the whereabouts of anyone connected to Ka nar Zaga, Chez Hannibal's, and anyone else who was present at the scene.

The Kilrathi Commonwealth is claiming the actions of the Kilrathi at Chez Hannibal's was an isolated incident, no more than "feral" Kilrathi dishonoring themselves with an unsanctioned killing, but tensions are running understandably high. Vespus authorities have banned all Kilrathi from the system, effective immediately. Concerned citizens in other systems have called for similar bans.

As for reports that the ESC condoned this activity, the ESC Board released a statement condemning such baseless allegations in the strongest possible terms. CoordSec is quite interested in following up on this "audiolog" released by "FloweryTruth," a notoriously unreliable member of what we in the real media derogatorily term the "free press."

Kilrathi apologists noted that, while abhorrent in its own way, Kilrathi eating humans is not technically cannibalism, and that we should try to be more understanding of extraterrestial cultures.

To which, the average man on the streets of New Zurich replied, "Stuff it."

Up next, with the mass exodus of migrants and Kilrathi from New Zurich, can the mass transit system keep up? The ESC Board is considering further investments in...

(Posted June 24 2012 00:22 UTC)