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ESC shareholders up in arms

This is your weekly ESNN business update.

The most recent ESC joint shareholders meeting was unusually contentious, as a small but highly organized group of investors made their grievances known.

"I've had it up to here," complained one dapper silver-haired man. "Up to here, you understand?" He gesticulated with his hands, in case the point hadn't come across.

"We demand that something be done!" shouted another, waving his briefcase in the air.

This was followed by a cacophony of similar calls, abruptly ending when a peroxide blonde woman in a navy blue pantsuit rose to her feet; she was evidently the ringleader. A ticker at the bottom of the screen identifies this woman as ARIANNA VON DERWAALS, the fabulously wealthy widow of a nanomolecular adhesive magnate.

"My dear Mr. White," the woman began in a fashionably nasal voice, turning all attention to the ESC bureaucrat presiding over the meeting. "The situation in New Zurich has simply become inTOLerable."

"I assure you, Frau von Derwaals-" began Mr. Barnabas White, Director of Investor Relations, but was immediately interrupted.

"Five, Mr. White! Five disgusting little creatures in the last week almost bumped into me! It's enough to make any woman of good breeding faint."

She seemed prepared to do just that, but apparently changed her mind when nobody immediately rushed to her aid.

"In any event," Arianna huffed, clearly annoyed, "my compatriots and I demand that the Consortium do something about the filthy lower classes ruining our beautiful planet with their... filth. And lowness." She paused, uncertain. "Did I already mention filth?"

Mr. White promised to look into the indigent problem, announcing that a special live ESC board meeting would be held in 2 weeks, on Wednesday, November 24, 2731, to discuss possible solutions.

He then moved quickly on to more pressing business, which was a proxy vote on raises for C-level executives. The measure passed by the overwhelming margin of 3 in favor, 117 against, with a large number of abstentions. ESC member corporation stock prices rose 3.3% on the news.

(Posted June 13 2012 04:37 UTC)